Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Fortune Telling

Recently I started dating a very sweet girl named Amii.

There are several benefits to having a Taiwanese girlfriend. My Chinese improves much faster. If anything slightly complicated needs to be done (such as ordering a book or getting a scooter fixed) you have someone to translate. She will make you try food that, as a foreigner, you would have no idea even existed (or probably wanted to know existed).

And finally, she will take you to do things that are truly a Taiwanese cultural experience.

Such as when Amii took me to a fortune teller. (*note- the picture above is at a famous temple in Dajia, Taiwan... NOT where we went to see the fortune teller. I only put that picture up so everyone has a visual of what Amii looks like. And also to brag a little bit since she is one of the prettiest girls I've ever met!)

Fortune telling is a very important part of the religion in Asia. People here wait until it is in the stars before they will get married, name their child, or even bury a loved one that has passed away. Even my boss will go to a temple and throw little pieces of wood that are supposed to tell the future before he makes even a remotely important business decision.

Amii had recently been to two different fortune tellers, and had received remarkably similar results. So now she wanted to take me so I can experience the same. And partly (I suspected), so she could see what our future together held.

We entered the fortune tellers apartment together, where she asked me questions such as my name, date of birth, blood type, etc. She looked a few things up in a fortune tellers guide book (written all in Thai surprisingly) and then pulled out some Tarot cards. I placed my hand on the deck, cleared my mind, cut the deck, and then selected 10 cards.

At first, I wasn't very impressed with the abilities of this fortune teller.

Some of the mis-predictions that she made:

You left home at the age of 20 (it was 18)
You are the oldest child (nope.. two sisters)
You are the only boy (ok yes, but I just told you I had two sisters)
You like to travel (I'm a foreigner living in Taiwan, did you really need Tarot cards to predict that?)
You will change your job in July of this year (Actually my contract ends in August, I said)
Oh ok, you will change your job anytime from July- November of this year (wow spot on!)
This year, you will contact with an ex-girlfriend (I hope it's the one that borrowed 900 dollars from me and then dropped off the face of the planet.)

Then she started saying things like I have lots of girls around me, I can get any girl that I want, my wife will be a foreigner, I won't get married until very late in life, etc. (Keep in mind it is my current girlfriend that is translating all of this to me.)

After about an hour of this, miraculously my fortune started to change! I have a feeling it might be the strong feelings of doubt I was having about the whole situation. Maybe it was the slightly sarcastic answers I was giving, maybe it was the constant rolling of my eyes, or maybe she just understood what "B.S." means.

Either way, the lady soon began to flatter me.

I have a strong mind and a good heart (hey, she's right!)
Lots of girls chase me, but it's not my fault. It's only cause I'm a good person (Right again!)
I have a strong sixth sense and would make a good fortune teller (now I know what to do if this whole teaching thing doesn't work out)
I will make lots of money when I'm older (sweet)
I am very smart and can obtain as high a degree as I want

Ok, so maybe after all of this, fortune telling isn't such a scam after all!

Here are some random other tellings of my future:

If I make a business where women are my primary customers, I will become very wealthy

My wife can help me make a lot of money, but she will also cost me a lot of money (a woman will cost me money? again, something I didn't need tarot cards to tell me)

I am more compatible with girls that are older than me (This one is actually spot on. Thinking of my past 5 or 6 girlfriends, they were all 2-5 years older than me.)

Also, could open a supermarket to make lots of money

If I have a girlfriend in the next 6 months, I will get her pregnant. (This was especially shocking since both psychics had told Amii that she is going to have a baby in the next 6 months. I don't believe it, but this was certainly a better form of birth control than any 'abstinence only' class they made me sit through in high school.)

In my past life, I was probably Asian with a large, closely knit family (perhaps this explains my love of all things Asian)

I will change countries often

And finally, if you want to know what the fortune teller said about me and Amii, here it is in summary:

Our Chinese Zodiac signs are compatible (she is a rooster, I am a pig.)
She is two years older than me (like I said, I love older women)
I will always be good to her, but she might hurt me and I shouldn't trust her
If we can forgive each other for early problems in the relationship, we will be very happy together for a long time.

So, even though she might break my heart, and at the risk of having a child in the next 6 months, Amii and I are still together. We have a great time and she is a wonderful girl.

And did I mention she is really, really pretty?