Telling the Tales from the Far East

Beijing- Chinese New Year 2009 Trip

2009-06-13T00:45:00.000+08:00

We started our whirlwind trip around China in Beijing. The first night we met our tour guide who promptly dropped us off at our hotel. Dad, Debi, Amii and I decided to walk around the city and find something to eat. We were able to walk past Tiananmen Square (which had mysteriously been fenced off- most likely a precaution to the upcoming 20th year anniversary of the student protests) and the entrance to the Forbidden City.

Having a travel agency arrange the trip for us, we didn't have to worry about hotels, transportation, or even where to eat. But unfortunately, we did have to worry about being forced to visit government owned "museums." The first one we bore witness to was a Jade museum. This consisted of a 5 minute presentation on how jade is mined and carved, and then being stuck in the gift shop for 2 hours while salesladies harassed us into buying a jade bracelet.

At least, according to them, since it was a government owned shop, the quality would be the highest, and the price would be the lowest in all of China.

I don't see why they would lie.

Also along with a guide, and other stops at government owned gift shops, we were able to see the Temple of Heaven, the Forbidden City, and the Summer Palace.

The Ming tomb was a short stop, as our guide wouldn't let us stop long to take pictures. We had a gift shop we were in a hurry to get, too.

The Summer Palace and Forbidden City were quite spectacular. It brought a little more understanding to why a young Chinese man would go through the process of becoming a Eunuch so as to gain access to these places.

Only a little understanding though.

And on our final day in Beijing, we went to the famed Great Wall of China.

It was incredibly cold and windy at the top of the wall, but still an amazing site to visit. There are only a few places I've been to that lived up to the hype that surrounds such touristy destinations. Machu Picchu in Peru and Angkor Wat in Cambodia were two of them. Those places genuinely left me in awe. The Colosseum in Rome was a huge dissapointment, however.

The Great Wall had a lot of hype to live up too, but I was still very much impressed with it. The section we visited was very well preserved, and the view from the highest point was breath-taking (Dad and Debi will have to take my word for it... they didn't make it).

I could have spent days walking the length of the Great Wall, but our guide only alloted about two hours for our visit.

After all, we did have a gift shop to visit.

Tiananmen Square

Outside the Ming Tomb

Dad can now add Asia to the list of Continents he has been embarrassing on

Enamel factory (followed by gift shop)

Jade factory (followed by gift shop)

At the highest point on the Great Wall

2008 Olympic Stadium- The Bird's Nest

Eating Peking duck in Beijing

Inside the Forbidden City. Apparently they will let anybody in nowadays.

Amii and I outside the Temple of Heaven

Kindergarten Dance Off

2009-05-24T22:48:00.002+08:00

Sunny and Shaun break it down to Fatboy Slim's Rockafellar Skank

Their first time hearing this song.

Rainy Hualien trip with Amii

2009-01-08T22:37:00.005+08:00

A few weeks ago, Amii and I decided to take a trip on our scooters to Hualien and Taroko Gorge. However, about two hours into the drive, it started raining and we decided instead to stay at Sun Moon Lake (see the previous blog entry). A few weeks later, we made the trip again, and this time we were successful.

It was a wonderful drive through the mountains and offered great views. Because it took about 6 hours, our backs were sore from the ride. And being late November when we took the trip, it got really cold high up in the mountains. But I genuinely enjoyed the road trip, and even though she won't admit it, I think Amii did, too.

Right outside of Taichung, just beginning our trip.

A picture of someone taking a picture. Kind of poetic, don't you think?

We're getting pretty good at the "arm extended, self portrait, couple" pose.

Refer to my April 2008 blog entry about the ridiculousness of this monument.

真的很漂亮 (my chinese is awesome)

Entering the tunnel that takes us to the aforementioned monument

Made it there

The guesthouse we stayed at in Hualien. The owner liked me so much, she took my picture to put on their website. I think foreigners attract business.
In Taroko Gorge

The clouds touching the mountains seems really peaceful and beautiful. However, we soon grew to despise them when we had to drive four hours in the middle of these clouds. In the rain. In 35 degree F weather. On a one lane road that accommodates two directions of traffic.

All in all though it was a great trip. I can't wait til it gets warm enough to go there again.

Halloween 2008

2008-12-14T21:04:00.005+08:00

A combination of bad internet, bad blog server, and being very busy has prevented me from posting these halloween pics in a timely manner. Nevertheless, here they are...

First, my kindy pics:

Oh my gosh Peter. You're so cute. Oh yes, you are! Yes, you are!

Serene. One of my favorite students.

Jasmine and Monica. Their princess costumes were very fitting.

Me and all the boys. My favorite costume had to be Tim, as a teletubby.

All the girls. This was an incredibly difficult picture to take because the girls were all incredibly frightened of my mask, and getting them to stand still and close to me took almost 5 minutes of reassurance that I was not going to chop them with my fake ax.

And now here are some pics from the adult Halloween. The only difference between the two being more booze and less clothes.

Scary beautiful

I was Bleeker, from the movie Juno. I guess you'd just have to have seen it. But a surprising number of Taiwanese people actually recognized who I was supposed to be.

In America, this would be a relatively easy costume to put together. In Taiwan, however, this is an entirely different story. First of all, small yellow shorts and yellow sweat bands do not exist. They had to be dyed. Which brings us to the next problem, clothes dye does not exist. Luckily, I have a smart girlfriend who took me to a crafts store and we were able to find some powdered paint that worked ok. Nevertheless, I had to drive to about 15 different places to assemble my costume.

Also, those knee length socks cost 17 us dollars. No, I'm not kidding. Good socks are ridiculously expensive in Taiwan, which is why I get my parents to frequently mail me packages of them.

It's difficult to get Taiwanese people into the spirit of Halloween

My friend, Brittany

My friend Chris. You probably can't tell from his costume, but he's gay.

Rainy Sun Moon Lake trip with Amii

2008-11-24T23:19:00.006+08:00

It's been a long desire of mine to drive all the way to Hualien and Taroko Gorge on my scooter. The directions are easy to follow, and I was told the drive through the mountain brings gorgeous scenery. It's about a 5-6 hour drive though, and finding somebody that is willing to go with me is always a problem. After trying for about three or four weeks, I finally was able to convince Amii to get over her fear of driving a scooter and go with me.

However...

We set off super-early Saturday morning, the 8th of September. But once we got to Puli (about 2 hours into the drive), it started drizzling rain. We had to make a decision... continue on our trek and hope that the weather improves, or abandon our plans and hang out at the nearby Sun Moon lake for the weekend.

We chose the latter.

It was probably a good choice since we spent most of the time watching movies in our hotel and dashing from place to place in the heavy rain.

Regardless, it was a nice getaway for a sweet couple. And my lungs thank me for any time away from the polluted city that I can manage.

As you can imagine, a rainy trip makes for few pictures.. but here are a couple anyway.

Lots of pretty flowers and pretty girls at Sun Moon lake

Self-portrait

Some sort of sticky ricey bambooey concoction

Just in case anyone doubted we actually went to Sun Moon lake.. here's the proof. Signs don't lie.

Driving our scooter. At night. In the rain. In Taiwan.

Completely safe.

Trip to Taichung Harbor

2008-09-21T22:22:00.005+08:00

To celebrate my 25th birthday (my second birthday in Taiwan), I had an oyster roast on the roof of my new apartment building. Good food, good friends, and good conversation was a great way to take my mind off the fact that a quarter of my life is now over.

But that's not the topic of this blog post.

The topic is.... Taichung Harbor.

About an hour outside the city, the harbor brings in fresh seafood from the local fisherman every morning. There, the catch of the day sits in giant tanks of water and atop mounds of crushed ice, until someone comes to barter and buy whatever fancies them.

So this is where I went to purchase some shrimp and oysters for a roast on my rooftop.

The Harbor is an attack on all the senses. The sight of whole fish, fresh fish, dried fish, fish heads, fish tails, entire sharks, clams and snails the size of footballs, and sea creatures that I have yet to identify. It's all pretty overwhelming.

And then the smell hits you.

They always say that fresh fish really shouldn't have a fishy smell at all. Well, this place SMELLS like fish. I guess after 10 or 11 hours in 90 degree heat, the fresh fish isn't so fresh anymore.

Walk a little further, and you enter an area with several small "restaurants" where you can not only purchase the seafood, but they will also prepare and cook it for you. There are about 20 of these small food shops, and they all want your business... very much so. The shop owners instantly swarm you and yell at you to come to their table. I usually tell them I don't understand Chinese, so their next logical step is to start yelling at me in Taiwanese.

Duck and cover your head.. and keep walking.

Avoid getting squirted by the mussels or splashed by the tiger shrimp that are clinging to their last few moments of life.

What always amazes me about the harbor is the variety of things you can buy. Various size clams and oysters, prawns, sharks, crabs, snails, eels... anything imaginable.

Some of it you can get in any grocery store, some of it you didn't even know existed. Some of it you can't imagine people wanting to eat, and some of it you know is illegal to catch.

All in all though, it's a pretty cool place. And it makes for a great photo op.

My 1 year Taiwanniversary

2008-08-05T14:52:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, the 4th of August, marked my arrival in Taiwan exactly one year ago.

Even though I've been on the move the previous two years, it feels a bit strange that I've been here for so long. Maybe it's just the fact that I've been in one place for so long.

Either way, I've decided to stick around Taiwan for at least another year (although a lot of my friends think I will be here much longer).

Here are some of the main reasons why I decided to stay:

1) I have no idea what I would do if I went back to the U.S. Probably work some meaningless job for a few months before I got restless again and moved to another country.

2) I like children. I still like not having children (don't worry, Mom), but I like children. The kids here are adorable and it's the only job I've had so far that doesn't make me hate waking up every day.

3) MONEY. There's not enough of it in the US, and here I get paid for doing what I naturally do anyway (speaking English).

4) Future money. I've been reading a lot about investing and here's one bit of advice by Jim Rogers, one of the world's best investors:

"If you were smart in 1807, you moved to England. If you were smart in 1907, you moved to America. If you are smart in 2007, you move to Asia."

He also advises, "If you are young and ambitious, learn Chinese. If you have ambitions for your children, make them learn Chinese."

I think these quotes best sum up the explosive economic force Asia will have in the next 20 years, and I want a piece of that action.

5) Cost of living. Even though I could probably EARN more money back home, the amount I can actually SAVE each month is much greater here. Major things such as gas, healthcare, insurance, rent and food only take a small chunk out of my earnings. I figured that I save about 40-50% of my monthly income in Taiwan. Quite a big difference when you consider the average American only saves 2%.

6) I don't have to work 40 hours a week. For my new job that starts in September, I will work from 9-12 and 2-5. Getting off earlier and having a break mid-day allows me to study a foreign language and go to the gym frequently; something I couldn't possibly imagine doing when I was working 52 hours a week in California.

7) And last, but not least; I have a great girlfriend. I couldn't possibly imagine leaving that behind and going back to dating boring American girls.

Kindy Graduation

2008-07-27T20:32:00.006+08:00

On July 19th, my Da-ban kindergarten class graduated. They worked really hard the past few months to put on a show for the ceremony, and all did an excellent job.

Some highlights included
-seeing the kids dressed up as butterflies, alligators, frogs, and Cuban Mambo dancers.
- watching the curtain fall on two different kids, and the confusion that ensued when they got trapped on the opposite side of it
-300 kids all playing the recorder (a small plastic flute like instrument) at the same time
-one class dancing to the song "Rawhide" which reminded me of my dad singing it to my sisters and I when we were young

Here are some pics:

Jimmy, Ryan, Neil and Yvonne

Getting ready to walk across the stage

Leo and Ben trying to break my hand

Adorable Penny

Walking across the stage

I was Sir Newton

My date. All the students loved asking who Amii was. She told a couple naughty kids that she was a nurse, and she was going to give them a shot if they misbehaved.

Honoring the teachers

Yes, I was the only male onstage who got flowers

Annie, Jim and Andy walking to their performance

Whale Class performance

Fortune Telling

2008-06-10T17:08:00.003+08:00

Recently I started dating a very sweet girl named Amii.

There are several benefits to having a Taiwanese girlfriend. My Chinese improves much faster. If anything slightly complicated needs to be done (such as ordering a book or getting a scooter fixed) you have someone to translate. She will make you try food that, as a foreigner, you would have no idea even existed (or probably wanted to know existed).

And finally, she will take you to do things that are truly a Taiwanese cultural experience.

Such as when Amii took me to a fortune teller. (*note- the picture above is at a famous temple in Dajia, Taiwan... NOT where we went to see the fortune teller. I only put that picture up so everyone has a visual of what Amii looks like. And also to brag a little bit since she is one of the prettiest girls I've ever met!)

Fortune telling is a very important part of the religion in Asia. People here wait until it is in the stars before they will get married, name their child, or even bury a loved one that has passed away. Even my boss will go to a temple and throw little pieces of wood that are supposed to tell the future before he makes even a remotely important business decision.

Amii had recently been to two different fortune tellers, and had received remarkably similar results. So now she wanted to take me so I can experience the same. And partly (I suspected), so she could see what our future together held.

We entered the fortune tellers apartment together, where she asked me questions such as my name, date of birth, blood type, etc. She looked a few things up in a fortune tellers guide book (written all in Thai surprisingly) and then pulled out some Tarot cards. I placed my hand on the deck, cleared my mind, cut the deck, and then selected 10 cards.

At first, I wasn't very impressed with the abilities of this fortune teller.

Some of the mis-predictions that she made:

You left home at the age of 20 (it was 18)
You are the oldest child (nope.. two sisters)
You are the only boy (ok yes, but I just told you I had two sisters)
You like to travel (I'm a foreigner living in Taiwan, did you really need Tarot cards to predict that?)
You will change your job in July of this year (Actually my contract ends in August, I said)
Oh ok, you will change your job anytime from July- November of this year (wow spot on!)
This year, you will contact with an ex-girlfriend (I hope it's the one that borrowed 900 dollars from me and then dropped off the face of the planet.)

Then she started saying things like I have lots of girls around me, I can get any girl that I want, my wife will be a foreigner, I won't get married until very late in life, etc. (Keep in mind it is my current girlfriend that is translating all of this to me.)

After about an hour of this, miraculously my fortune started to change! I have a feeling it might be the strong feelings of doubt I was having about the whole situation. Maybe it was the slightly sarcastic answers I was giving, maybe it was the constant rolling of my eyes, or maybe she just understood what "B.S." means.

Either way, the lady soon began to flatter me.

I have a strong mind and a good heart (hey, she's right!)
Lots of girls chase me, but it's not my fault. It's only cause I'm a good person (Right again!)
I have a strong sixth sense and would make a good fortune teller (now I know what to do if this whole teaching thing doesn't work out)
I will make lots of money when I'm older (sweet)
I am very smart and can obtain as high a degree as I want

Ok, so maybe after all of this, fortune telling isn't such a scam after all!

Here are some random other tellings of my future:

If I make a business where women are my primary customers, I will become very wealthy

My wife can help me make a lot of money, but she will also cost me a lot of money (a woman will cost me money? again, something I didn't need tarot cards to tell me)

I am more compatible with girls that are older than me (This one is actually spot on. Thinking of my past 5 or 6 girlfriends, they were all 2-5 years older than me.)

Also, could open a supermarket to make lots of money

If I have a girlfriend in the next 6 months, I will get her pregnant. (This was especially shocking since both psychics had told Amii that she is going to have a baby in the next 6 months. I don't believe it, but this was certainly a better form of birth control than any 'abstinence only' class they made me sit through in high school.)

In my past life, I was probably Asian with a large, closely knit family (perhaps this explains my love of all things Asian)

I will change countries often

And finally, if you want to know what the fortune teller said about me and Amii, here it is in summary:

Our Chinese Zodiac signs are compatible (she is a rooster, I am a pig.)
She is two years older than me (like I said, I love older women)
I will always be good to her, but she might hurt me and I shouldn't trust her
If we can forgive each other for early problems in the relationship, we will be very happy together for a long time.

So, even though she might break my heart, and at the risk of having a child in the next 6 months, Amii and I are still together. We have a great time and she is a wonderful girl.

And did I mention she is really, really pretty?

Tomb Sweeping Weekend

2008-05-04T10:55:00.006+08:00

At the beginning of April, Taiwanese people celebrate Tomb Sweeping Weekend. They use this time to visit the graves of their ancestors to pray and clean the tombs.

Foreign teachers in Taiwan use this time to travel during the 4 day weekend.

My roommate Stephen, my girlfriend Sarah (at the time), my friends Pam and Dave, and I all took a trip to Hualien and Taroko National Park.

Here are some pics with the corresponding narratives:

Hualien is a coastal city in eastern Taiwan, so our first stop was to the fish market to pick up some freshly caught seafood.

Building a fire on the beach

Grilling the clams, oysters, sea snails, crabs, and salmon we purchased earlier. Very tasty.

The next morning we rented some scooters and drove around Taroko National Park.

Entrance to the National Park

The monument built to honor the people who died while building another monument. No, I'm not kidding.

Entrance to the rain cave. This was a short tunnel that had water pouring down in the middle of it harder than any shower.

All the Taiwanese people in the park carried umbrellas or wore raincoats in the cave. We dove right in.

Swimming in the cold, fast water of the cave.View from atop a cliff over looking the beach.

Paparazzi shot

Also included in the trip (but not pictured) was a visit to the hot springs town of Ruisui, a stop at a dairy farm where we enjoyed fresh ice cream and pudding, and 3 hours of dealing with a broken down scooter 4 hours away from where we rented them. One of the many reasons why it's always a good idea to bring along a Taiwanese girlfriend.

Do they celebrate Easter in Taiwan? In Kindergarten they do!

2008-04-12T17:15:00.014+08:00

In order to make a little extra cash, and to get myself out of the habit of waking up at 2 pm everyday, I picked up a kindergarten class in the morning. Here are some pics from a field trip to a garden, and our Easter celebration.

First, the field trip...

Not much to describe here. It was to a local garden that had a large koi pond, some fountains, and a slide. It mainly consisted of me walking around, pointing and saying, "fish," "duck," or "flower," as the kids repeated.

I also spent a great deal of time making sure no one fell in the koi pond.

For our Easter celebration, we sang a song, had an egg/spoon race, pushed a ball around, and I told an Easter story... most of which I made up on the spot.

Jason (top) and Kevin (bottom) painting their papier-mache Easter eggs. We hid these later and let the kids go on an "Easter egg hunt."

The finished product

Eva

I have a theory that if you name a Taiwanese girl Eva, she is guaranteed to be adorable. I have about 6 or 7 students named Eva, and there is not one exception to the rule.

Sharon

One of my favorite students because she gives me a hug every morning.

Michael, Jim, and Ken posing for the camera.

Candy 2 and Eva

Candy 2 is probably the smartest, prettiest girl I teach.

Another part of the festivities included giving the kids hard boiled eggs and letting them have a peeling contest. This was probably my favorite part of the day, as most of the kids just bashed the eggs onto the ground, and then picked them up piece by piece and put them into their mouths.

A few actually managed to get the egg peeled in one piece, upon which they just shoved the entire thing in their mouth. I sat and watched for a few minutes as they tried to swallow before I told them they had to spit it out.

By the end, they were completely covered in egg yolk, spit, and dirt; and they all had sickly expressions on their faces.

It reminded me a lot of the scene in "Cool Hand Luke" where Paul Newman gets challenged to eat 50 hard-boiled eggs.

No man can eat 50 eggs.

Preparing to peel away

And they're off...

Chinese New Year in the Philippines

2008-03-05T10:53:00.017+08:00

Here is a pictorial summary of my trip in the Philippines during Chinese New Year 2008.

Instead of buses, the main form of public transport is the Jeepney. These are modified jeeps left over by US troops from WWII.

Fried frog stuffed with pork. Very tasty.

Various pictures of Dragon parades to celebrate the new year.

And here's a couple videos from the New Year's Celebrations:

One of the many dragon parades in Chinatown, Manila

Some of the many fireworks that were everywhere during our trip. The video does not do justice to how loud or dangerous they actually were. My roommates face does.

Some pics of a couple of the forts in Manila:

Each fort had a sign that said something similar to this: Built in 1540 by the Spanish.... burnt down and rebuilt various times for the next 400 years.... Destroyed for good in the Battle of Manila, 1945.

Cheese flavored ice cream- not as bad as it sounds

At a KTV with some Filipino friends we made. All Filipinos are really good singers. I am not.

Malapascua Island, Cebu, Philippines

Late night dance club on the beach. Good times until you try and go home and realize your shoes have been stolen.

Some random shots from around Malapascua Island:

And to finish off the trip, we traveled to southern Cebu to visit Kawasan Falls.

Reasons why the Philippines is better than Taiwan.
- The KTVs have a decent selection of American songs in the Philippines. How do Taiwanese people expect me to participate if I can't drunkenly belt out "Livin' on a Prayer" or "Take Me Home Tonight?"

- The Filipino accent is very pleasing. That is, if you can find a Filipino person that speaks decent English. (There aren't as many as you are lead to believe.)

- The excitement of being in a third world country. Taiwan is nice, but the biggest rush I feel all day is narrowly avoiding getting sideswiped by a bus while driving my scooter to work.

Reasons I was happy to be back in Taiwan:

- The food in the Philippines was terrible. To be fair, and with only a few exceptions, Taiwanese food is pretty awful. But at least I don't have to resort to eating fast food all the time.

- Everybody is not out to get you. In the Philippines, you had to yell at the taxi drivers just to get them to turn on the meter. And any girl that approached you was most likely a prostitute.

- Taiwanese people (and by people, I mean girls) dress very trendy. It's not something I thought I would ever care about, or miss, until I wasn't surrounded by it.

Wanderlust

2008-02-06T06:49:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning and realized I've been in Taiwan now for exactly six months. This amazes me at how quickly the time has flown by. This also scares me, because it's usually around six months that I start to feel restless and I want to move somewhere else. It happened in Thailand. It happened in California. And I think it's starting to happen in Taiwan.

I am in the process of applying for business school at the top University in Taiwan. There is a scholarship offered to foreigners that would pay for my tuition and provide a small living stipend so I wouldn't have to work while studying. I feel an MBA and fluency in Chinese would make me very marketable in a job hunt. However, it also means I would be stuck here for two more years.

Some other options include: teaching English in another country. Japan and Korea pay ridiculous amounts of money. Part of me wants to return to Southeast Asia, though. And another part would seriously consider South America if the wages weren't so low.

I also discovered a year long, working holiday visa in Australia. This would give me the option of working my way around Australia. Sure, most backpackers that do it end up picking fruit or waiting tables; but it would allow me to be a nomad again.

Anyway, Chinese New Year has just started. To escape the incessant fireworks, I am leaving for the Philippines in about two hours. I'm hoping this will temporarily solve my wanderlust.

Ideas and suggestions are welcome.

Buddhist Nazis???

2008-01-08T11:19:00.001+08:00

I arrived in Taiwan at the beginning of August around 1 am at Chiang Kai-Shek International airport. I then got in a car and headed to the hotel I was supposed to be staying at. One of my most vivid memories of my first few moments in Taiwan, was looking out that car window and seeing an image similar to the one below, posted on the entire side of a large building.

I had been traveling for about 30 hours, but I was certain that my mind wasn't playing tricks on me, and there was, in fact, a giant Swastika in broad display. Over the next couple months I noticed these symbols everywhere. The picture above was taken at the world's largest active temple, in Puli. I asked several friends about it, but the only answer they could give me was that it was "some kind of" religious symbol (I've also discovered that many Buddhists know very little about the Buddhist religion).

So after doing a brief internet search, here's what I learned:

The symbol has been in use for well over 3,000 years. Shards of pottery from ancient Troy show that it has been in common use since at least 1000 BCE. Ancient China, India, and Japan all contain archeological artifacts decorated with it. There is even some evidence that Native Americans have used it. The word swastika is sanskrit, meaning- "su" good, "asti" being, and "ka" as a suffix... literally "A good being."

During the 1800s, when the countries in Europe were mighty empires; Germany wasn't even a unified state until 1871. To counter these feelings of youth and insecurity; German nationalists began to use the symbol because of it's link to the ancient aryans (although the symbol they chose is actually a reverse swastika- running counter clockwise). They believed, quite ridiculously, that the Aryans were a pure race and were the ancestors of modern Germans. Then in 1935, Hitler declared the red and black swastika flag to be the official flag of Germany. The rest, as they say, is history.

For the last 3,000 years, the swastika had been a symbol of sun, life, and good-luck. But now, it is hard for most people to imagine it representing anything other than hate and death.

Christmas in Taiwan

2007-12-28T11:24:00.000+08:00

Despite year round Christmas decorations (I still don't understand why), and the occasional overpriced (but still disgusting) turkey dinner; Taiwan doesn't do much to celebrate the holidays. Our school gave us the option of taking Christmas off, but to avoid wallowing in homesickness at my apartment, I decided to work anyway. I like both my Tuesday classes, so it wasn't that bad, and I knew as soon as I got off, most of my family would be waking up and opening Christmas presents so it would be a good time to call them.

Another way to bring a little bit of Christmas joy over here, was celebrating with a couple of my classes. Thanks to the enormous amounts of candy I received from Mom, Dad, and Grandmother; I was able to give my Treehouse and Kids Club classes (my two favorites, if you can't tell by now) a little Christmas party. I brought in some hot chocolate powder, marshmallows, and candy canes. I started by scooping out the powder into some paper cups, then marched them upstairs to the teacher's lounge where they could fill up with hot water. However, by the time we made it upstairs, I realized that half the kids had already eaten the powder!

One girl, named Sandy, especially enjoyed the hot chocolate. When the bell rang at the end of class, I saw that she hadn't drunk much. I told her she couldn't take it with her, but she insisted that she wasn't finished yet.

"Ok, Sandy. Hurry up then," I told her.

So she picked up her glass and chugged the entire glass of hot chocolate in under 20 seconds. Then she paused, and had a look on her face of pure discomfort.

"Are you ok Sandy?" I asked.

She paused for a minute, then gave me a typical Sandy smile, said Yes, and bounced out of the room to go home.

A few seconds later, while Ellen and I were still cleaning up the room, another student named Bella came running back in...

"Teacher Ethan, Teacher Ethan!" she yelled.

"What Bella?"

"Sandy... Sandy... BLEHHHHH" (imagine her making the hand gestures since she didn't know how to say "blew chunks" in English)

Ellen and I ran outside and saw Sandy standing on the stairway, completely surrounded by vomit.

Ellen took her into the bathroom and we laid down some newspapers to avoid other kids playing in it.

Afterwards, I saw Sandy downstairs and I asked her if she still likes hot chocolate. She shook her head 'no' with a sad look on her face.

The one on the left is Sandy

Hiding from the camera

The aftermath of Sandy's marathon chocolate chug

Abandoned Amusement Park

2007-12-08T17:56:00.000+08:00

A friend in Taichung told us that there was an old, abandoned amusement park on the outskirts of town. So, having nothing better to do on a Sunday afternoon; Stephen, Sue, and I decided to go check it out.

If Horror movies have taught me anything, it's that the most likely reason the amusement park was shut down was because two sexy teens were brutally murdered there and the killer was never found. But, when we arrived, I realized a more feasible reason for it's economic downfall was probably because it was situated on the top of a hill that was very hard to climb, and when one got there; they only had a total of three rides to enjoy.

Nevertheless, it made for a good day trip and some nice pictures.

Proper Dining Etiquette

2007-12-06T12:21:00.000+08:00

I often thought back home how ridiculous it was whenever I saw a person eating french fries with a fork. It just seemed incredibly pretentious and unnecessary. Well, I think it is safe to say I've witnessed on several occasions something that is even more ludicrous.... the use of chopsticks to eat french fries.

Shrimp fishing

2007-12-02T17:43:00.000+08:00

A few days ago, some friends and I decided to try the very Taiwanese sport of shrimp fishing. There are several places you can go shrimp fishing in Taichung, and we managed to find one only a few blocks from our apartment. They are open 24 hours, so we got some dinner after work one night, then stopped by the shrimp hall around midnight. You walk into an open room and find a couple of shallow pools that are stocked with the shrimp. Another pool contained crabs, but was a little more expensive so we just stuck to the former. You take a long pole and bait a couple hooks with chicken bits. After a few minutes you'll see the floater go under water, and if you pull the pole up with the right amount of speed and care, you'll have snagged a shrimp. After a couple hours of shrimping and drinking beer (fishing is fishing, right?) we had managed to catch about 15 shrimp. We then took them over to a grill, salted and skewered them, and let them cook for a few minutes. After writhing around for a while, they turned a nice pink and were ready to eat. We peeled them and dipped them into some soy sauce. Aside from the occasional brain juice or baby shrimp eggs, they were probably some of the best tasting shrimp I've ever eaten.

Cookies from Grandma

2007-11-25T20:24:00.000+08:00

Being in Taiwan is great. The people are friendly. The food is good. The weather is nice. The scenery is beautiful.

Being in Taiwan is great.

But....

Sometimes you just miss home.

During the holidays it kind of hits you hard. I called home on Thanksgiving and heard all about the delcious food everyone was having. Turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, garlic cheese grits, biscuits. Yum.

But I'm over here eating fried rice and tofu.

That's why it was a very pleasant surprise to come home from work and get a package from my Grandmother. She sent me a box of delicious cookies, fudge, party mix, and crackers. All of it made it over here safely, minus one mysterious substance that had exploded all over the box. I think the customs agents disposed of the container though since it was nowhere to be found. It really makes me feel safe to know that the Department of Homeland Security is inspecting my grandmother's cookies.

Another nice surprise was she packed the cookies with marshmellows. If I can get my hands on some graham crackers and hershey bars, I might take them to my treehouse so they can make s'mores. But I might be pushing my luck to find those...

Art by Emily

2007-11-10T22:05:00.000+08:00

Every other Friday, my treehouse kids have a quiz to review the current unit. Since they are so smart, and the curriculum is ridiculously easy, this takes them all of about 5 minutes. Afterwards, I usually tell them to draw a picture on the back of their tests. This past Friday I told them to draw a picture of me and what they think I did over the weekend. Some of them drew me watching tv, others drew me playing with poo-poo (a common theme among Taiwanese students no matter how old they are); but one quiet, little girl named Emily drew the following picture of me....

Click on the photo to enlarge it so you can fully appreciate the details.

She's my new favorite student.

Treehouse of Horror

2007-10-29T00:38:00.000+08:00

The past week was our Halloween unit for my Treehouse class so I got to do some fun activities with them. On Wednesday, we made masks and the kids got to go "trick or treating" with the office ladies and other teachers. Then on Friday, I brought in two pumpkins. I had carved one the night before into the shape of a skull, and together as a class we carved the second one. I should mention that real pumpkins apparently do not exist in Taiwan, so the only ones I could find were about the size of a large grapefruit. They were also about 5 inches thick and quite difficult to carve. In the end, I think my Chinese co-teachers were more excited than the kids were. None of them had seen a jack-o-lantern before either. They were all taking pictures with their camera phones and asking questions about them. At the end of the day, one of them asked what I was going to do with the pumpkins now. I said, "I don't know, probably get drunk and throw them off the balcony." She then asked if she could have one for her kid. I, of course, said yes. Then I gave the other one to Ellen. All in all, it was a pretty fun week of festivities.

Here are some pics...

Kelly cutting out her bat mask

The kids hate posing for pictures

Carving the pumpkin

Scooping out the insides

"Teacher Ethan, our pumpkin looks gay."

Whaaaat?

Another forced group pose

Skidamarink chaos

2007-10-25T09:55:00.001+08:00

The following are some pics of my Kid's Club 5 class. They have all had about a year of English so they love to talk and experiment with the language. It's probably my favorite class. All the kids are adorable and love to jump and hang all over me during the breaks.

Here are all the girls in my class posing with my co-teacher, Ellen.

Ellen has to constantly make sure everyone is working. I, on the other hand, spend most of my time goofing off with them.

Eva and Cindi

Kay throwing a stickyball at the whiteboard

This is Una. She is by far one of my favorite students. She's the cutest little girl I've ever seen and I'm seriously considering putting her in my suitcase and bringing her home with me.

Una doing the Asian, peace sign, finger thing that all Asian girls (no matter what age) do in pictures.

This is Sandy. Her mom always makes her wear little sun dresses. In the words of Ellen, she is "very much a little girl." Sandy's outfits are actually a nice change of pace from what most of the other students wear. Usually they come in wearing their school uniforms. These consist of yellow cotton shirts and blue shorts that look like old, ratty gym clothes; or a white, collared button down shirt and brown slacks that makes them resemble tiny, gay sailors.

Sandy trying to avoid having her picture taken.

And here's a video of them going nuts for the skidamarink song. No matter how many times I play this they still scream and jump along to it.

The past few weeks

2007-10-07T22:42:00.001+08:00

CHAOS has recently taken over my life and now that I have a few minutes to sit down and breathe, I think it's time for a new post.

MOON festival was a few weekends ago. This got us a long weekend off from work. I asked several Taiwanese people why they celebrated Moon Festival, but none of them could give me an answer. So I Wikipedia'd it and found out that it's the time of year when the moon is the brightest and they celebrate the harvest to ensure a good crop next year. Apparently one way of celebrating is by making such an abundance of mooncakes that you can't even walk down the street without stepping on one. Mooncakes are cupcake sized desserts that have a variety of fillings. They range from the very, very good (ice cream filled mooncakes) to the very, very not good (red bean filled mooncakes....... no seriously, red beans.). I also believe that these are the Taiwanese equivalent of Fruit Cakes at Christmas time. Nobody really wants them and they are constantly being re-gifted to other people.

To celebrate our extended weekend, some friends came down from Taipei, and up from Khaosiung, to go camping. We headed to Sun Moon lake, the biggest lake in Taiwan. We got to do a little hiking and exploring, and the whole area was gorgeous. Unfortunatly, I only stayed one night since I was sick and it rained a lot at night. I decided waking up in a puddle of water wasn't going to accelerate my healing process.

I AM now fully into my Chinese classes. It's going good so far. I start to recognize symbols a little bit and even had a conversation with a lady in Chinese. I told her I liked her dog, asked what it's name was, told her I used to have the same kind of dog (a dachsund), and told her the dog was beautiful. I'm sure my grammar and pronunciation was terrible, but at least she understood what I was trying to say and seemed to appreciate the compliments.

TEACHING is still a joy for the most part. I've been particularly frustrated with one of my students though. He is in one of the most basic classes and had no prior English before coming to Hess. All the other kids whiz through the material (it's only 1 sentence pattern per two classes!), but he just can't seem to grasp it. Not only can he not understand the concept I'm teaching, but he can't even imitate the sounds that I make. I honestly can't tell if he's dumb or has a serious speech impediment! During an oral test last week I purposely gave his last so I could spend the remainder of class so it was just him and me. The entire hour I spent with him consisted mostly of this:

Me: Gary, What is this?
Gary: wha duh dah?
Me: No, Gary, WHAT IS THIS?
Gary: Bah dah duh?
Me: No, Gary say 'What"
Gary: Dah
Me: No, WH-AT
Gary: Dah
Me: -loud gunshot as I blow my brains out-

After 45 minutes he still couldnt pronounce the word. I've told his parents that I want to spend a few extra minutes with him after each class, but I honestly don't know if that will help. It's very frustrating because I don't want to give up on him, but if he can't even copy the most basic, monosyllabic sounds; how am I supposed to teach him grammar and vocabulary?

THE stresses of teaching have led me to explore quite a few watering holes after work. Whenever I'm having a particularly bad day I will send a text message to Sue (she's sent me quite a few as well), and we will go to a different pub to grab some dinner and a drink. There have been some really cool ones that have decent drink specials and a nice atmosphere. We've been to one place, The Frog, a couple of times. It has a little waterfall on the patio and is off a quiet street. It bills itself as a Mexican restuarant, but when we ordered the nachos all we got was a plate of Doritos with melted cheese on them! I guess that's as close to Mexican as you can get in Taiwan. During dinner and a couple drinks, we usually spend a few minutes bitching about our jobs and the kids; then once that is out of our system, try to completely avoid anything Hess related. After a few more drinks, the conversation usually gets pretty interesting. I promised Sue I wouldn't blog about anything we talked about, but if you want to know the juicy details about her just shoot me an email and I'll tell you anything you want to know.

I REALIZE that I complain about teaching quite a bit in this blog, and I don't want to give the wrong impression. I really do enjoy what I'm doing. Working with children is very fun and rewarding. It's nice to know you are making a difference in someone's life and not just going to a menial job every day. So I will leave everyone with a cute story that happened to me yesterday. It was my Saturday morning class and I had an oral test. The way the oral tests work is you spend about 15 minutes reviewing with the class, and then you take each student out one by one and ask them the questions. This class had one of my favorite students, Ariel. I wrote about her in a previous blog post. Her english is phenomenal for a 10 year old girl. I knew I would have a lot of time left over after the tests were done, so I purposely made Arial be my last students so I could talk to her and goof around with her for the remainder of the time. I asked her things like if she had a dog and what kind of movies she liked. Then she would ask me questions like what is my dog's name and do I have a girlfriend. I then asked her if she had a boyfriend and she giggled and yelled out 'No!' I said that Justin, the boy that sits next to her, told me he was her boyfriend. She started screaming and ran into the classroom and hit Justin in the arm. When she told him what I said, he started screaming and blushing. The whole class was dieing of laughter. Afterwards, I was talking to my co-teacher when Ariel came up to me and tapped me on the arm. I looked at her and she said:

"Teacher, I have a secret."
"What is it, Ariel?"
"You can't tell anyone."
"I won't. What is it?"
"I do have a boyfriend, but it's not Justin!"

She started laughing and ran away.

And that's why I love my job.

20 Questions from Uncle Dave

2007-09-24T18:57:00.000+08:00

In a recent email, my Uncle Dave gave me some interesting topics of discussion for the blog. Many of them I had planned on writing about anyway, if I ever got around to it. I'll try to answer a few of them right now, and hopefully satisfy the rest later.

1. Is the internet my only source for current news? Yes, pretty much. Occasionally I will pick up a copy of The China Post, which is the only English language newspaper here. But I usually only read that to search for funny typos (i.e. 'sore like an eagle') or to inform myself about the latest health scare in Taiwan (a recent study reported that the majority of wooden chopsticks here contained a dangerously high amount of nitrates).

2. How do I stay updated on the latest celebrity news gossip? One of the many joys of living here is that I don't have to read about Britney Spears' child abuse case or how many men Angelina Jolie has slept with. However, while checking CNN.com I was very happy to hear that OJ is finally getting his comeuppins. I am desperately searching for his book about how he 'would' have killed his wife and Ron Goldman. Originally titled "If I Did It," the book was not picked up by a publisher. About a week ago, a bankruptcy court awarded the rights of the book to the Goldman family; in which they retitled it "If I Did It: The Confessions of a Killer." It was picked up for publishing immediately and was an instant bestseller.

3. Are McDonalds and Pizza Hut in Taiwan? Yes, and I have successfully avoided them so far. One of my favorite comedians, Dave Chappelle, has a bit about how he is self-conscious about eating fried chicken and watermelon in public because it perpetuates the stereotype that black people love fried chicken and watermelon. He's paranoid that while eating chicken in a restaurant he can hear white people whispering, "Look at him. He loves it. Just like the encyclopedia said!" In a way, I feel the same way about eating at Mcdonalds. I can just imagine what the locals are saying about me as I dip my fries into ketchup instead of the gooey, sesame seed filled sauce that they serve here.

4. Are Hollywood movies popular? Yes. However, by the time they are released in Taiwan, they have been out in the states for 8 or 9 months sometimes. I often wonder how much money they actually make at the box office and how much of a problem illegal downloading of films is; since that appears to be a very easy and common option here. Not surprisingly, there is also a wide selection of Chinese films. I get the feeling these are much more popular. One of the most famous Asian directors, Ang Lee, is Taiwanese. He directed Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

5. How do most Taiwanese feel about America and Americans? Generally, Asia has one of the highest opinions of Americans. Due to strong trade relations with the US, we remain incredibly popular with Taiwan despite our refusal to support their bid to the UN. In fact, we do so much trade with them, that even though the New Taiwanese Dollar is not fixed; it hardly ever fluctuates against the US dollar. I also have learned that wearing a New York Yankees T-shirt will make me instantly popular among Taiwanese people. Thanks, Chien-Ming Wang.

Since I'm at a smoky, loud internet cafe, that's all I'll write for now. But I encourage anybody with questions to email me or comment on the blog. Sometimes I will witness something that is definitely blogworthy, but dismiss it because it has just become a part of daily life for me.

Quick, short update

2007-09-21T00:04:00.000+08:00

This update is more for myself so as I don't get out of the habit of keeping a regular blog. Something that I feel will happen very easily.

The teaching is still going well. I have a few classes that are quite troublesome though. My youngest class, called Kids Club, have absolutely no English skills whatsoever. I spent FOREVER with one kid just trying to get him to properly pronounce the word 'is.' After about 30 minutes, he still couldn't grasp it.

A few days ago I made a trip to Sogo, a very large department store, to pick up some much needed clothes. While there I went to a bookstore which had an English section. It contained roughly 20 books. However, I was very pleased to see a copy of Rory Stewart's book, The Places In Between. It is about the authors trek as he walked across Afghanistan six weeks after the American invasion and fall of the Taliban. The walk across Afghanistan is just a portion of his journey, in which he was retracing the steps of the first emporer of Mughal India; Babur. During the forward to the book, Rory writes:

"This book is dedicated to the people of Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, India, and Nepal, who showed me the way. They were not all saints, though some of them were. A number were greedy, idle, stupid hypocritical, insensitive, mendacious, ignorant, and cruel. Some had robbed or killed others; many of them threatened me or begged from me. But never in my 21 months of travel did they attempt to kidnap me or kill me. I was alone and a stranger, walking in very remote areas; I represented a culture that many of them hated, and I was carrying enough money to save or at least transform their lives. In more than 500 village houses, I was indulged, fed, nursed, and protected by people poorer, hungrier, sicker, and more vulnerable than me. Almost every group I met gave me hospitality without any thought of reward."

I like to think I've experienced a small bit of this hospitality in Taiwan. Although a little less extreme, on more than one occasion I've relied on the kindness of strangers. Whether it was an older Chinese woman who motioned at me to share her umbrella as we crossed the street in a torrential rain; or stopping a young guy on a scooter and asking for directions, only to realize he drives 15 minutes out of his way to actually take us there. These are the instances that cause people to step out of their comfort zone and travel across the world.

Being new to the country, working constantly, and scootering everywhere has recently caused me to become in very bad shape. Couple this with the fact that my dinners mostly consist of something deep fried in a night market, and I realized my health is not at all where I'd like it to be. To combat this, I've decided to take a brazilian jujitsu class. I took this for a year in college, and a little bit when I was in Thailand; and have always enjoyed it. It's great exercise and I really miss the competitiveness of sports. Now if only I could find a lacrosse league over here...

Another recent development is that I have officially enrolled in Chinese school. I paid my (expensive) tuition to National Chung Hsing University and will begin my elementary chinese classes on September 26th. It's pretty intensive too. I attend class Monday- Friday from 10:00- 12:00. I can't wait to be in a university setting again. I walked around campus today and it reminded me a lot of UT. Minus the sporting events, the bars, and the very pretty, very blonde sorority girls, of course. It will be nice to be considered a student again. It will also be nice to be able to order food.

And that's about all that's been going on in my life since the last post. Just to recap for everybody: I'm teaching Taiwanese kids, learning Chinese, taking a Brazilian martial art, and reading a book about Afghanistan.

Quite the international education, I'd say.

Taking Taipei by storm

2007-09-17T00:48:00.000+08:00

Since we didn't have anything special planned this weekend, and we thought it was best to avoid the Pig Pen for a little while; Stephen and myself decided to take a train up to Taipei to visit some friends from our training group.

Rachel and Shane, not wanting to break their record of not having spent a single weekend in Jubei, also met us up there.

The train is cheap and only takes about 2 hours. It was relatively painless despite having to sit on the floor because we missed the train we had originally purchased tickets for. Thanks Stephen.

After we arrived in Taipei, we met up with our friends Nick and Tim. We all got a bite to eat and exchanged some hilarious stories. Then we stopped by the 7-11 to get some drinks and hang out at their apartment for a while.

Later we went to another all you can drink place called TU (Taiwan Underground). It was only Taiwanese people there and I got the impression the staff wanted to keep it that way. The bouncers and bartenders were all very rude, as were the male patrons of the bar whenever we tried to dance with any of the girls. I guess they didn't like the competition.

But the night went off without incident, and all made it home with their heads intact.

The next day we woke up and walked to a breakfast shop and got some Dan Bings. These are essentially breakfast burritos: a rice tortilla wrapped in eggs, bacon, and cheese, and smothered in syrup. They are fantastic. We polished those off with a bit of tea. Passionfruit green tea has become my favorite. I sometimes drink two or three glasses a day. There is also a pearl milk tea here which is high on the list. If you can find either of these at home, I strongly encourage you to try them.

With a full stomach, we left a few hours later to go to the National Palace Museum. In 1949, when Chaing Kai-Shek lost the war to communist China and fled to the island of Taiwan; he took many pieces of art from the Forbidden City with him. These are now all housed at the National Museum. All in all, I found it a little boring. It was mostly pottery and a few pieces of bronze here and there. There was, however, a very cool ivory decoration (pictured above). It was carved from a single piece of ivory and is 17 concentric, spherical balls; one inside the other. The craftsmanship was superb.

Soon after seeing that, we lost interest and went to the cafe to rest our feet.

On the way back to Nick and Tim's apartment, we stopped at the Longshuan Temple. It's one of the biggest in Taipei city. It was very crowded with people praying, throwing fortune sticks, and burning incense and paper money to honor their ancestors. It was a beautiful place and I wish I knew exactly what was going on. I also wish I wasn't such a goon and taken touristy pictures of people in their place of worship.

We made the trip back to Taichung later that night. I also met a new friend who is a fellow teacher for Hess. She's a very cute girl named Sue. Although she was born in Taiwan, she was raised in California and lived in New York city the past 5 years. She speaks with an American accent and likes fried chicken and potato chips. In fact, the only way you can tell she is Taiwanese is because she speaks Mandarin and plays badminton.

September 9th, 2007- A Day Which Will Live in Infamy

2007-09-11T21:49:00.000+08:00

Turning 24 became a little less depressing thanks to the help of some good friends and one of the craziest days of my life.

It all started on Friday night. Shane and Rachel made the trip down from Jubei to help me celebrate. Since most of us had to teach a class Saturday morning; Friday night consisted of just staying in and drinking a beer or two.

After class on Saturday, the fun began. We started by taking our scooters about 20 minutes outside of Taichung to a natural hotspring. The hot springs were only about 6 dollars to get in, and included a towel and shower cap which was required to wear. Why everyone who entered had to wear the shower cap, I'm not completely positive; but I assume the water isn't filtered and having a bunch of long, black hairs floating in the pools would be quite disgusting.

There were several pools to choose from of varying temperatures. Since it is still summer here, about half the pools were cold water. I didn't spend a whole lot of time in those because I just didn't feel like I was getting my money's worth when I paid to go to a HOT spring. And the hottest temperature pool, about 75 degrees Celsius, was too hot for anyone to sit in for more than a few minutes. There was one pool, however, that was about bathwater temperature and was very enjoyable. I could immediately feel my circulation increasing and my arthritis disappearing.

After a few hours of soaking, we showered up and headed for a nearby hiking trail. We decided to stick to the easiest path since half of us were wearing flip flops. It was very nice to get out of the heavy traffic, smog, and neon signs that make up the majority of Asian cities. Just a few minutes outside of Taichung, the forest gets so thick it appears impossible to even walk through. I can't wait to go back and head up one of the more difficult trails.

A full day of hot springing and hiking made us all famished. Still dirty and sweaty, we drove back into town and stopped at an Indian restuarant. Since most Western food in Taiwan is absolutely terrible; I didn't hold out much hope for the Indian food here. But surprisingly it was very cheap and tasty. We ordered a variety of Nan, dips, smosas, chicken, lamb, and vegetables; and devoured them all.

Then we all went to our respective apartments, took a quick nap, showered, and ran to the 7-11 for some beverages. We pregamed a little there as we talked and watched bad Taiwanese game shows on the only television channel we get. Rachel and Shane also gave me a birthday gift: a full sized glass and a fork. It was probably the best gift ever as I no longer have to use chopsticks and tiny, paper Dixie cups that dissolve after retaining liquid for more than 30 seconds. I swear I am going to start a full sized, plastic, disposable cup company in Taiwan that will sweep all of Asia and make me an overnight billionaire. The market is definitely there.

When it got a little later, we all headed out to a bar called Party Animal. It was a very relaxed place with a band playing. It was also very Taiwanese as we were the only foreigners there. The band leader sang me happy birthday and I received a number of toasts from the bar patrons. He asked if I had any song requests, but I don't think they knew 'Rocky Top.'

A few over-priced beers later, we headed out again to our favorite jaunt, The Pig Pen. For about 15 US dollars we gained entrance into a hip-hop style club with an all-you-can-drink promotion. There are several places in Taiwan that offer all-you-can-drink nights, which is quite hilarious to me when I think of how much money a bar would lose and how many people would get injured if this type of deal were offered back home. I suppose, however, since most Taiwanese take taxis and are able to drink very little anyway; this is still a viable option.

We did a little dancing and a little more drinking at the Pig Pen. All of us were having a great time until the real rowdiness began. Wade was talking to some girls when he turned around and noticed a young Taiwanese guy throw his girlfriend onto the ground and started to stomp on her face. Hard.

In true heroic fashion, Wade jumped in and put the guy in a choke hold. Unfortunatly for him, he didn't see the beer bottle wielded by the guys friend as it came smashing down over his head. Stephen and I joined in the melee after this and tossed a few punks around like it was our job. A little bit of pushing and some yelling at each other in different languages later, the face stomping boys realized they weren't going to make any friends in the bar that night, and were escorted downstairs to where the police were waiting. We all celebrated the rest of the night with more dancing and people continually coming up to us and thanking us for helping the girl. We felt like celebrities.

The night wore on and we started to drift home one by one. When there was just a few of us left, we ventured outside and realized that the sun was up. We hailed a taxi and made the journey home. Upon my arrival, I was sure to wake up everyone who had gone home before me was already soundly asleep. By 8 am I was in my bed and dozing quietly.

And thus ends one of the best birthdays I've ever had.

Ps. Fighting is wrong.

Fun times with Free Talk

2007-09-07T15:49:00.000+08:00

The children I get to see most often are my Treehouse kids. While all my higher level classes only meet with me once a week; I get to see my treehouse kids 3 times. They are all around 7 or 8 years old, and although they haven't had many years of English; their speaking ability is quite good.

To start off each class, our lesson plan includes a 5 minute activity called Free Talk. Grammar is not so important during this as the main idea is to get the kids thinking and speaking in English. Each lesson comes with a topic of discussion. While some of these are quite intersting, more often than not, they are completely random and useless.

For example, one topic for free talk a few days ago was genetics. The lesson plan suggested asking the kids to describe their physical characteristics, i.e. straight hair vs. curly, long vs. short, brown eyes vs. blue eyes. Then to name the characteristics of their moms and dads. The idea was to get the kids thinking about which parent they resembled more and how they inherit different traits from both their mom and dad. However, this activity doesn't work so well with Asian children.

Me: Barry, what color is your hair?
Barry: Black
Me: What color is your mom's hair?
Barry: Black
Me: What color is your dad's hair?
Barry: Black
Me: Um, so who do look the most like?
Barry: -confused look on face-

The same conversation was repeated with eye color, height, and any other physical feature. The only variation I got was with hair length, in which case I had to explain that that was not genetic.

Another fun free talk topic was childbirth. The lesson plan gave me some interesting tidbits about a woman who had given birth to the most children (69- of which she had spent 27 years pregnant). And another woman who had given birth to the most children simultaneously (9- nonuplets). After explaining the concept of pregnancy, gestation periods, and the difference between identical and fraternal twins; I'd decided the kids had learned enough.

The plan also included some more morbid details. For example, the woman who had given birth to nonuplets. Within 6 days all of her children were dead. I intentionally left this detail out, as I just didn't have the energy to explain infant mortality and the dangers of fertility drugs to a group of elementary schoolers.

A Horrible Day Is Salvaged

2007-09-06T00:13:00.000+08:00

Today started off horribly. I didn't get a good nights sleep, which already put me in a bad mood. Then, Stephen and I went to Nova; a giant electronics mart that sells all sorts of computers, cameras, and other high tech doo-dads. My intention for going there was to get my digital camera fixed so I can actually have some photos to send back home. But after asking three or four different shops if they could repair it; they all said the same thing: no one in the building can fix it and I'd have to take it to this one place that is God only knows where. Quite dissapointed I walked back outside to my scooter to head over to my branch and prepare my lessons for the day. As soon as I sat down on my scooter, the clouds unzipped and it began pissing on me heavily. I waited for it to clear up a little bit, and then continued on to my school. Being in an unfamiliar part of town, I got a little lost and arrived with only 15 minutes before my first class started; giving me no time to prepare a lesson. On top of all that, when I did start teaching; the kids were being especially rowdy and obnoxious. After class was over, I went up to the teacher's lounge to begin grading some of the many homework assignments that I had put off. About an hour later, I needed to take a break and get some (relatively) fresh air. I headed out to the nearest 7-11 with my head hung low in despair. Once there, I picked up a bottle of red tea and a bag of Lay's "American style steak sauce" flavored potato chips (I was curious more than hungry). And then, while paying for the items at the cash register, something happened that instantly turned my day around.

Still in my own ticked off, little world; I suddenly hear an enthusiastic, young voice behind me shout, "Teacher Ethan!!" I turn around and there is one of my adorable little students named Ariel. She gives me a big hug and introduces me to her mom. As soon as I left the 7-11, I swear the clouds instantly parted and the day became sunny again.

I'll spare everyone the cheesy moral of the story about how you should always wear a smile because you never know whose day it's going to brighten. But just know that it's not complete BS because one little girl certainly turned my day around.

I can't believe I'm responsible for children

2007-09-05T02:46:00.000+08:00

My biggest fear about moving to Taiwan and teaching English for a year was the fact that I would actually HAVE to teach English. Although it is my first language, the extent of my knowledge of English grammar ends at nouns, adjectives, and verbs. Anything else is a crapshoot. Surprisingly, however; I have managed to fake my way through each class quite successfully.

The first class I taught was the absolute worst. The kids stared at me blankly the entire time and refused to answer any questions when I called on them. Even though it took me a couple hours to prepare my lesson plan, I had to constantly check the teacher's guide to see what I was supposed to do next. Not to mention my Chinese Co-Teacher (CT) would constantly have to correct me. At the end of class when I asked her what I could improve upon, she just kind of shook her head and sighed.

I can say with some excitement that it has all been uphill since then. It only takes me about 30 minutes to prepare a lesson plan now, and I am even starting to remember some of my students names.

The way the Hess system works is as follows. I teach in the evenings at what are called buxibans, or cram schools. The kids attend regular school during the day, and will then go to a cram school straight after to be tutored in English, math, science, piano, or any other number of things. They attend English school at Hess twice a week; of which I teach them once and my CT teaches the other day. I am not there when the CT teaches because I am teaching another class of kids. I teach about 24 hours a week, or 12 different classes. As you can probably imagine, it's very difficult to keep all the kids, classrooms, homework, and CT's straight.

What is most surprising to me is how much I actually enjoy my job. To be fair, it can be quite stressful and the kids can get on your nerves a bit; but I believe this might be the job I can see myself doing for more than just a few months!

My younger kids are especially a joy to be around. Even though their English is not great, they are all very expressive and absorb everything I teach them like a sponge. During break time they love to show me their toys and hang all over me. The boys love to fight me and the girls like to pet the hair on my arms and stare at my blue eyes. A couple girls in particular will always approach me and say "Lian Bi (blue eyes)." I respond by pulling my eyes apart really tight and saying "Taiwanese eyes." They squeal with laughter and run away.

I'm not sure how I feel being something of an anomaly to them.

Scooter mania

2007-09-05T02:25:00.000+08:00

The main form of transport around Taichung is overwhelmingly by scooter; and, when in Taichung....

Driving a scooter gives you the ability to: make it anywhere in town in under thirty minutes, weave in and out of cars, roll your way to the front of the line at a red traffic light, and even carry a friend on the back while doing all this.

HOWEVER, it also gives you the ability to be slammed into by buses and taxis, sideswiped by other inattentive scooterists, get drenched in a sudden downpour, and be completely humiliated when you forget that other people can hear you singing along to your ipod.

Despite the inevitable dangers, scootering has been quite an enjoyable experience. We have resorted to renting our scooters right now, as we must wait a few more weeks until we receive our Alien Residency Cards (ARC) before we can legally purchase one and register it in our names. It will be especially nice not to have to deal with the shady, Canadian guy that owns the rental place.

Until then, our late night games of Scooter Tag will continue.

The trip to Taichung

2007-09-01T19:49:00.001+08:00

The morning after our big night out in Taipei, we had to wake up at 8 oclock to be on a bus for our destination city, Taichung. Under the circumstances, our bus ride was surprisingly comfortable. It was called an Aloha bus, and had large, leather seats, a personal tv screen, snacks and drinks, and a built in massuese. The trip took a little over two hours. Upon arrival we were greeted by some Hess people that would work at the branches with us. Everyone was very friendly and accommodating. They have all been a tremendous help so far in every aspect of our lives. I constantly call my head co-teacher and ask her for directions or to translate something for me to a bewildered shopkeeper.

After we ate lunch, we went on an apartment hunt. I agreed to room with two other guys from my training group. Wade, from South Dakota, studied anthropology in school and knows kung fu. His especially gentle demeanor is very misleading when you know that he can probably snap your neck with two fingers. My other roommate, Stephen, is from England. He is a very affable fellow. Even when he is cursing or trying to insult you, he still comes off as very polite. He slightly resembles Harry Potter; something his students (and occasionaly girls we meet at bars) constantly remind him of.

We found a really nice, 4 bedroom apartment with wooden floors and a small balcony. It is very close to a large KTV building (karaoke tv). However, we found out that this was a "special" ktv place, where not only singing goes on. We walked up to it one day to look inside, and the ladies at the door told us it would be NT 1000 per girl. She also kept repeatedly handing us warm towels. We ran away.

The very beginning

2007-09-01T19:40:00.001+08:00

Although I've been in Taiwan for nearly a month now, I believe I will give everyone a brief recap of all the events that have transpired so far.

I arrived in Taipei on August 4th after a 28 hour trip. The plane ride was relatively painless thanks to some "sleeping aids" given to me that made most of it a blur. After arriving at the hotel at midnight Taipei time, I took a few more pills, slept calmly throughout the night, and jet lag was never a problem.

Training began the next morning. There were about 30 people in our group from just about every English speaking country. Each day consisted of learning a different aspect of the Hess curriculum, singing songs, and eating terrible lunchbox lunches. One thing I found odd about being here was the large number of South Africans. As I was told by one of them, apparently Saffirs (not sure if this is offensive, but I have heard them refer to each other as this so I welcome myself to use the term) tend to flock to Canada, England, and Taiwan. A bit odd, but it explains why I have never met anyone from this country before. All in all though, everyone in the group was really friendly and we hung out together much, which always caused a bit of a problem when 30 people are trying to decide what to do for the night.

There are only a few nights of fun that are particularly worth mentioning. One occured at an all-you-can-drink club called Wax. For NT 500 (about 15 us dollars), we gained entrance into a small, shady, basement that blasted bad hip hop music. The shots were weak, but me and Nick (from Arkansas) quickly started playing a game called "order a drink, immediately get in the back of the line, and see if you can finish your drink before you have to order another one." The rules are pretty self explanatory. Unfortunately, it gets much harder to decide who the winner is. In my opinion, we both won. In everyone else's opinion, we were both huge losers.

The following day involved sleeping until 2 pm, and then on to a pool party that a taiwanese friend invited me to. It was at a posh country club about 5 minutes from Taipei 101 (currently the worlds largest building). There was a DJ on a bridge that spanned the width of the pool. He was very talented in the fact that he was able to permanently ruin several favorite songs of mine. I've never heard Journey mixed with a house-techno beat... and I hope I never do again.

After about a week and a half, our training was complete. To celebrate, we had a wine and cheese gathering in the penthouse apartment of the company's president. We all got a little tipsy (some more than others), and then went back to the hotel to prepare for the real fun. About half of our group. along with two Japanese girls we met in the hotel, decided to go to a club called Luxy. It is supposed to be one of the best clubs in Asia, and it did not dissapoint. Full of expensive drinks, fashionable young Taiwanese people, and scantily clad girls paid to dance on stage... it was a great night to end Taipei on. And I mean a GREAT night to end Taipei on.